I sometimes receive requests from other career counsellors for information interviews (and am always delighted when I do). After recently receiving a particular request that was both fun and charming, I started thinking about what makes a good request for an information interview. While there are lots of examples in books of letters you can write for requesting an information interview, it is rare that you get to see an actual request, so I thought it might be very useful and illuminating to see one (especially one that I think is so nicely done).

Here’s how the email I received went:

How does one ask a networking guru for an information interview? I puzzled over this briefly before realizing I know the answer - directly and honestly!  You have actually been on my radar for a while as someone I would like to talk to ever since I heard you speak at a CCIA presentation a few years ago while I was still working at the U of T Career Centre. This summer I saw you mentioned in Mark Franklin’s e-newsletter as having published a book, and now working at Queen’s - and I thought to myself - this must be a sign! But in the chaos of moving home north of Kingston to help my father with renovations and learning to run the family farm I put it on the back burner until the fall. Now as the chaos is finally subsiding, I would love to have the opportunity to meet with you face-to-face for an informal information interview - if you would be interested in meeting with me.I would love to hear more about how you balance your work at Queen’s with your private practice, and your writing. As I am learning to run our small family farm I am realizing that it is not enough - financially or career-wise - and would like to add a missing piece or two to the puzzle. I believe that these pieces are very likely writing and counselling and would love to hear about your experiences and the ensuing wisdom!

Why I love this request:

·         He reminded me of how we had met in the past. This was really helpful. If he had just given his name, I may have been able to place it, but I am much better with faces than names. Remembering where we had met helped me to remember him.

·         It was flattering. I am no “networking guru” and it made me laugh out loud to read that, but, even though I’m sure it was a bit tongue in cheek, it is nice to be complimented. It is nice to know someone thinks they could learn something from you.

·         It was personalized. This is not a request that has been sent out to 25 people – Even if some of it has been copied from other requests, Miguel clearly thought about what to say to me, and personalized this request just to me.

·         The request was clear. What he wanted wasn’t vague – he was clear that he was asking to meet in person to discuss career stuff.

·         Most importantly, it felt really real. (wow “really real” – I think my high school English teacher might have circled that in red). Miguel’s note just feels so authentic. There is a real person who has written it, and the request and comments seen sincere.

This was a great request. Of course I am not representative of everyone – what is compelling to me in a request, may not be exactly what is compelling to another person. But it seems to me that authenticity and sincerity are almost universally appreciated.

PS: Thank you Miguel, for letting me share this with readers.

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Happy New Year everyone!

I’d like to start the new year in the spirit of resolutions, with some goals. But not so much goals about what to accomplish in 2010 (get fit, learn to play the piano, etc), but more goals about how to approach the year.

Goals for activities and accomplishments can be great – they give us tangible things to do. But they aren’t the only kinds of goals that can help us make positive changes in our lives and careers.

We can also think about goals for our attitude and approach. How do you want to approach 2010?

In my book, I talk about these attitudes as “anchors” – beliefs and approaches that anchor us and keep us on track.  So here is a brief look at 3 possible anchors for how we approach our careers and job searches (for more discussion on anchors see pages 81-94 of Not for Sale!)

Outlook: Optimism versus pessimism

Your outlook for the future has a significant impact on your job search. There are two basic options for outlook, and they couldn’t be more different from each other. You can look to the future with hope and optimism, or you can look forward with despair and pessimism. When presented with these two choices, I can’t imagine anyone saying “I choose despair and pessimism.” However, when listening to discussions about job search, there’s a whole lot of pessimism around. And while these may be outlooks for the future, they have a strong impact on your feelings and behaviours in the present as you job search.

Opportunity: Abundance versus scarcity

Your beliefs about opportunity – how many opportunities are available, what those opportunities are, and where and how those opportunities are found – are very influential in your job search. If you listen to a lot of people talking about the world of work, you’ll hear it described as a place without enough for everyone. This “scarcity of opportunity” belief is quite popular – and can be quite depressing. The world of work is described as if it is a place with a finite number of job options – and if you can’t grab one of those, then you are out of luck, and that’s all there is. An alternative view of opportunity is that it can never be finite - there is an abundance of opportunity. New work and opportunities are being created all the time.

Job search culture: Cooperation versus competition

Often the culture of job searching is seen as one of fierce competition. Disadvantages of see job search as competitive can include stress from feeling constantly in competition with others and concerns about “not measuring up;” missed opportunities for collaboration because other job seekers are seen as rivals; and the all-too-common experience of feeling isolated and alone in your job search. Instead of maintaining this competitive job search culture, we can choose a different culture – one that focuses on the potential of cooperation. The advantages of focusing on cooperation, such as support, shared resources, and community, are many.

I’m choosing to approach 2010 with optimism, abundance, and cooperation.

What attitudes and outlooks are you using to anchor your career in 2010?

Attitude and Approach, Choice abundance, approach, attitude, job search, Optimism 6 comments

Thank you to everyone who has been reading this blog this year. While there is a lot of job search information on the web, most of it seems to fit squarely in the Sales Mindset camp – believers that if you want to find a new job you need to get out there and “sell yourself.”

This blog is different – I believe selling yourself is demoralizing and dehumanizing and I’ve been critiquing that Sales Mindset approach to job search, and exploring alternative ways of thinking. In addition to the publication of my first book, Not for Sale! Why we need a new job search mindset, some of the things that I looked at in 2009 in the blog were:

• The energy of authenticity – a conversation between two people can be so energizing when you are both bringing “you” to the discussion.
• It’s not about the packaging – the huge success of Susan Boyle (first during the Britain’s Got Talent competition and now her CD that’s flying off shelves) is a great story about getting past how someone is “packaged” and looking for the talent and life within.
• Sizzle vs steak – too much job search time is spent polishing the sizzle, too little time is spent discussing the steak. We live in a time when people are desperate for meaning and connection – and that’s what we can be emphasizing not just in our broader lives, but in our job searches as well.
•  Inauthentic networking – too often networking is uncomfortable and disingenuous. It needn’t be that way. We can look for alternatives to a “one-size-fits-all” approach and try connecting with people based on genuine interest. 

It has been a pleasure to explore these topics. Thank you to everyone who has responded with their own thoughts (over email, phone, or in person). Let’s keep this discussion going!

On that note, I just realized recently that my blog was set to only allow comments if you are logged in. I figured out how to turn off this – so you can now more easily post your own thoughts. I look forward to hearing from you and getting your reactions and ideas. 

Happy Holidays to everyone! I’ll be back in 2010 with more thoughts on job searching with integrity

Job search as sales & marketing, Networking, Packaging, Uncategorized job search as sales and marketing, Networking 4 comments

“With competition for good jobs at an all-time high, candidates who conduct their job search as a sales campaign consistently win out over those who don’t.”

So starts an article called “Win Your Next Job With Three Essential Interview Skills.”

Now, if you’ve been reading my blog or book, you can guess my reaction. I don’t agree at all. There is nothing noteworthy about that -  all over the internet there are thousands of articles with similar arguments and content that I disagree with. What makes this one worth notice is this fascinating opening line.

“[C]andidates who conduct their job search as a sales campaign consistently win out over those who don’t” is quite a claim. Bold, assertive – very sales-like?

The biggest problem with this is that this is opinion presented as fact. There is NO evidence that this claim is true. There is no evidence for this provided in the article, and as far I can tell from my research, there is no evidence anywhere. Perhaps anecdotally many people feel that this has been their experience. And certainly there are legions of people who believe this to be true. But to present this as fact should require far more than anecdotal stories and beliefs.

Too often job search “experts” tell us the right way to do things. But a lot of this (if not basically all) is  based on opinion. There is nothing wrong with opinion - we should just be up front about it being opinion and not fact.

I’ll use the same analogy as used in the article in question. When you go to buy a new car, you listen critically to the salesperson’s pitch (and you know it is a pitch, you know they are using “closing techniques” and looking for your “hot buttons”). You try to step back and evaluate if the offer is really as good as it is presented as being. You know the job of the salesperson is to get the sale – which may or may not be in your own best interest. So you question all claims.

Let’s do the same thing when being sold on the “correct” way to job search. Question all claims. Beware of opinion masquerading as fact. 

Thank you to Christine Fader for sending me the link to this article – you were right  Christine– I did enjoy reading it!

Choice, Criticisms/questions, Interviews, Job search as sales & marketing job interviews, job search, job search as sales and marketing, sales 1 comment

Ever received a “one size fits all” t-shirt? Over the years I’ve done a number of charity walks and they are a lot of fun and raise a lot of money. But I always dread one part – the t-shirt.

As you register at the walk they give you a t-shirt – to bring everyone together with common garb, to thank you for participating and to recognize sponsors. Now, I like the t-shirt idea, but here’s the thing. I am small – short, petite, tiny frame. And 9 times out of 10, when you get a free t-shirt it is “One size fits all.” As if!!! That one size never fits me!

I want to wear the t-shirt – I want to be part of the group. I want to show my support of the event. But I look like a 5 year old in a tent. Not great for the self-esteem.

Recently I’ve found that event organizers have caught on. Instead of just the one size fits all, they are now bringing multiple sizes. This year at the Superwalk for Parkinsons I got a t-shirt that fits! It was a great day. Instead of one size fits all, they recognized that we are all different sizes, but all want to belong.

So why haven’t we caught on with networking?

Reading networking advice, it is hard not to start believing that there is a one-size-fits-all networker suit that we should all fit into. This ideal networker is that gregarious schmoozer who works the room, with no butterflies in their stomach, nor any hesitation to regale you with their snazzy elevator pitch (see my previous post for more on this). When you try to be this supposed ideal networker, you can feel like you are swimming in a t-shirt that is 6 sizes too big or strangled in one that is 3 sizes too small. It feels awkward and uncomfortable.

We really need to start showing that there are multiple ways to approach networking – and all can be successful.

Not great at cocktail parties? Maybe you are great at staying in touch.

Not good at making cold calls? Maybe you are wonderful at sharing info and support with your colleagues.

Not keen on chit chat? Maybe you do love getting into long in-depth conversations.

And so on.

If we drop the one-size-fits-all approach, could we make multiple approaches that fit all sizes?

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My last posting looked at two kinds of inauthentic networking moves: insincere flattery and insincere questions. These are moves that most of us have been on the receiving end of, souring our networking experiences.

What about when it is not the inauthenticity of other networkers that is souring the experience for us, but our own feelings of inauthenticity?

A lot of people report feeling “fake” and “phony” when they try to network. If you are trying to create new relationships with interesting people, and trying to deepen existing friendships, feeling fake is certainly not going to help. For many people it evens stops them from going out and networking at all.

Where do these feelings of inauthenticity come from?

Trying to Be The “Perfect” Networker

I think a lot of networking advice (perhaps very well-meaning networking advice) has presented a particular picture of what a “perfect” networker is. If you read too much about networking, it is easy to start believing that there is one right way to be as a networker.

Who is this “perfect” networker?

They

·         work the room – effortlessly flitting from person to person

·         are gregarious and outgoing

·         mingle relentlessly and with no hesitation strike up conversations with people who they don’t know

·         promote themselves with their elevator pitches and proffer business cards with finesse

Sound familiar?

This image of an ideal networker is everywhere. So, in an effort to be good at networking, job seekers try to emulate this ideal. And this is where the inauthenticity insinuates itself.

Some people may feel like they have exactly what it takes to be this “perfect” networker. They head out and network in this way and feel good about it. Far more of us do not naturally operate this way. But, in a misguided belief that you HAVE to be this way in order to be successful at networking, you grit your teeth, take a deep breath, and do it.

You “work the room.” You give your elevator pitch. You force yourself to mingle. And you feel phony and inauthentic. You don’t want to give that pitch – you did it because you thought you were supposed to. You don’t want to end one conversation and “work the room” – you were perfectly happy talking with the person you were with but started to feel guilty you were spending too much time with them.

The bad news – legions of discouraged job seekers who’ve been trying to live up to this perceived ideal

The good news – this “ideal” networker may not be the ideal after all

Next: Shattering the image of the “ideal” networker

Authenticity, Networking Authenticity, inauthenticity, job search, Networking 3 comments

I’ve been writing about networking recently, and will get back to that soon, but want to take a one posting break off that topic. I saw Michael Moore’s new movie “Capitalism: A Love Story” and have found it has stimulated a lot of interesting thoughts related my concerns about how people are commodified as products for sale (in our job searches and beyond).

Spoiler alert – I am going to write about a reaction from something in the movie – if you do not want to hear about it until you’ve seen the movie yourself, please do not read on!

As is clear from the previews etc, this movie is a critical look at how the current economic system in the United States impacts its citizens. In watching the movie, I kept thinking about how people (not just when job searching) can feel like mere commodities. Watching some of the stories Moore tells, it’s no wonder we can feel like products for sale. It’s no wonder so many people feel so disenchanted, not just with job search, but also with work in general. There are so many examples in the movie about how the system  dehumanizes people.

One example – have you ever heard of “dead peasant” insurance? No, I hadn’t either. Apparently many large companies take out life insurance on their staff. This insurance is referred to (privately and not publicly I think) as “dead peasant” insurance. So if that staff member dies, the COMPANY MAKES MONEY off their DEATH. Flabbergasting really. People as commodities? Seems like.

I don’t want to give too much of the movie away, so won’t share a bunch more examples. If you’ve been wondering as I have about how the current system we live in impacts how we feel as humans, I really recommend this movie. You may or may not agree with Moore’s take, style, or stunts, but I’m pretty sure it will give you lots to think about. It certainly energized me to keep trying to stop people from being  “for sale.”

Choice, Criticisms/questions commodification, not for sale, products No comments

What makes so much networking so inauthentic and phony? Networking has such a bad reputation as a schmooze fest where insincerity reigns.

Being on the receiving end of insincerity sucks. Here are two classic insincere networking moves:

Insincere Flattery: “Wow, did you do something new with your hair? It looks so good” and “I LOVE your blazer.” And of course there is the ever popular “have you lost weight?”

Of course sometimes people give sincere compliments. But insincere compliments are the ones that promptly dry up when they realize you can’t give them what they want. When it becomes clear that you don’t have what they are looking for, suddenly you become far less impressive and interesting, making you reflect back on those early compliments and realize they were not really compliments at all - just attempts at buttering you up.

Insincere Questions: These are the questions that are asked but whose answers are not listened to. “What do you do?” or “what’s new with you?” or any other opening question to get you talking.

Then, when you’re answering, the questioner’s attention is anywhere except on you. They are clearly looking for someone more interesting or powerful to move on to. The question is mere place holder, allowing them to look engaged in conversation while they scan the room finding their next target. Questions form the basis of many a great conversation, but insincere questions have nothing to do with an authentic interest in learning anything about you.

Experiencing this kind of insincerity in others is so demoralizing. This kind of inauthentic networking sours the whole experience of trying to meet and relate to people.

So there’s a quick look at a couple of the symptoms of inauthenticity in others when networking.  Coming next … when it is YOU who are feeling inauthentic.

Authenticity, Networking Authenticity, inauthenticity, Networking No comments

How to network authentically and with integrity has been much on my mind lately as I prepare for 2 presentations this week on that topic. I think because networking has such a bad reputation, lots of people are looking for alternatives.

As a starting place for thinking about how to network authentically, I’d like to share a recent Q&A I did with Jennifer Nachshen. I first learned about Jennifer when she wrote a neat article in the Globe and Mail called Doctor By Day, Fashion Blogger by Night, which I mentioned in an earlier post. I decided to contact Jennifer to learn more about her story, and she kindly agreed to a conversation. I really liked what she had to say about how she has approached networking, so (with her permission) I’m going to share some of her thoughts here:

Cathy: How did you connect with the opportunity to be a fashion blogger?

Jennifer: A friend forwarded me information about a website that wanted a blogger. When I applied, my letter literally said “I have no experience, but I can turn a phrase, and I’ve written some blogs … I was asked to do some trial runs. In a lot of ways I was very lucky. But it wasn’t just luck as at some point I had to put myself into the mix. The point is that opportunities are out there, and if you look for them and put yourself out there, eventually you will make a connection. But you have to be prepared for some failures along the way and just be able to pick up and keep going. I did get lucky, but I put myself right in the path of luck.

Cathy: Sounds like you heard about this first opportunity from someone in your network. How has building a network continued to be important as you build your new career as a writer?

Jennifer: I think it’s critical to take advantage of everyone you know and everyone you meet. They all have knowledge and experience to share. Network building is important, but it’s also fun. I love meeting people who are writing and being successful at it. They are usually very interesting people. I’ve managed to turn a number of those relationships into mutually beneficial friendships. We help each other in work and, because we have so much in common, socialize with each other as well. I’ve become so rich, both personally and professionally, through networking.

Cathy: A lot of people who are job searching are nervous about talking to other people and about asking for help. What has your experience of meeting new people been like?

Jennifer: People love to be acknowledged for their knowledge and expertise. I find people who I’m interested in and say “I’d love to take you to lunch and ask you questions about what you do and how you got to be doing what you are doing.” And most people say yes. People really want to help other people. Even if they can’t help you immediately, they might put you in the back of their minds and remember you when something else comes up.

Cathy: Some people feel like networking is fake. What about you?

Jennifer:  For me it’s not fake because I’m actually genuinely curious. I’m actually enjoying it. I’m going to events and asking questions because I am truly interested in what other people have to say. I think that, if you feel it’s fake, you either need to check your own attitude or get out of the business. It’s only fake if you are faking. I never feign interest because everybody has something they can teach me, even if it’s about what NOT to do!

Sounds like Jennifer is on to something in her networking. She has been able to switch careers, into something that had been an interest, but not something that she had really been involved in, by talking with people. I particulary like how Jennifer finds networking is not fake for her, because she is always asking questions that she genuinely has.

Thanks again Jennifer!

Coming next … Inauthentic Networking - what makes networking so often feel so phony?

Authenticity, Networking Authenticity, Networking No comments

Now I’m wondering what the universe is trying to tell me.

Leaving exercise class tonight I walked out the door to find – my bike gone!

The class is in the hall of a church – a church! of all places, and the bike was right outside the door. Yes, yes, I know I should have locked it up, but the bike is 20 years old, covered in rust, the back brake is broken, and it was at the door of a church!

So within a week, that’s two things stolen (first money at the bank machine, now the bike, and I admit my absent minded role in both). But, really, two in one week! What’s this about?

Is the universe trying to tell me something about dishonesty? That perhaps my “live with integrity and good things will happen” philosophy is hogwash and I better buck up and get real? I have to admit there are days when I do question this. Do you have these days too? Days when you’re trying your best to believe in the best, but then you’re thrown a curveball? Days like last week when I watched the new Michael Moore movie and was crying several times watching how the system had destroyed ordinary hard-working people while rewarding people with little to no integrity. Times when it seems that it is greed and underhanded tactics that get people ahead, not authenticity, integrity, and kindness and respect.

But usually those days are few and far between. More often I see evidence of the opposite. Evidence that being real, and honest, and respectful gets you far further ahead in the ways that matter most.

I don’t want to stray too far from job search stuff in this blog, as that is its focus. But how we see the larger world, and what we think works and doesn’t work, guides how we see the specific stuff of our lives, like how we go about finding a job. I’m working on writing my next book on networking, and there are a lot of choices we can make about how we think we should interact with other people – choices that are influenced by whether or not you’re able to hang onto a philosophy of integrity and authenticity.

So, maybe the universe is throwing these little events my way to stimulate more reflection as I work on dissecting networking and re-constructing into something more authentic. Or maybe it is just throwing some trials at me – the “if your beliefs are strong enough to weather this you know you’re onto something” kind of trials.

Or maybe the universe is just trying to tell me that it was way past time to buy a new bike!

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