Valentine’s Day is one of those days that can bring up mixed emotions. For me, it is a day I kind of like cause I get to give my son an extra kiss, and kind of don’t like because of the commercialism of forced flower and chocolate purchases.

That said, I like to think of Valentine’s Day as a chance to pause and reflect on who and what we love. In this spirit, I bring you thoughts on how to send “a Valentine to your career” with some Q & A with Christine Fader, aka “CareerCupid”.

Cathy: Christine, your book CareerCupid is about how “landing and loving your dream job” is like finding your “dream guy.” How are these similar?

Christine:  What got me connecting the two was realizing how much the processes have in common and when talking to clients and friends, I also kept seeing and hearing one theme:  YEARNING.  Just as we sometimes yearn for a wonderful romantic relationship, we also often yearn for a great career.  We spend so much time at work that, while not required, it can be more pleasant if you actually like what you do.  I use the analogy of romance because in both romantic relationships and careers, there’s some dating involved, sometimes euphoria or dejection, and through it all, there’s the importance of figuring out who you are and what you’re really looking for.  But in every romance and career, it often takes a bit of trial and error before we find the “right” (or right for right now) longer-term partner.  It’s also important to remember that while planning can help, happiness—career or relationship—isn’t always achieved simply because you controlled everything.  Just like in relationships, it also sometimes involves serendipity, timing and being open to finding something completely unexpected that you never thought you’d like. 

Cathy: It’s a neat idea to think about our career exploration as similar to the process of ‘looking for romance.’ If someone is not currently working, what kinds of things might you suggest they be doing to explore career options?

Christine:  Not working is a great time to explore a new career path using tools from the dating world known as “speed dating”, “one-night stands” and “transition guys”.  Career speed dating is another way of talking about networking and it is especially excellent for people who are not working because we sometimes tend to “cocoon” and become less visible when we’re between jobs.  In speed dating, you seek out opportunities to meet people and explore information about work that is mutually interesting.  Use keywords around your interests to find people online, in phone books, in magazines and newspaper articles.  Remember, you’re dating at this point, not job searching.  Sometimes this “speed dating” will lead to an offer of a “career one-night stand” which is where a person invites you to follow them around for part of a day so you can really see what the work is like.  If you think this work is interesting, you might want to move on to “transition guy” which is another way of describing volunteer, short-term or contract work.  This allows you to try out the new work for a short time without making a long-term commitment.  All of these dating tools can help you recognize, appreciate and decide to commit to a dream job when it comes along.

Cathy: What if we’re in a career right now that we are not in love with – what can we do?

Christine: Many people are doing work that’s “okay” but not “wonderful”.  If you get to the point where your current work has lost its sparkle and you’re unhappy about that, consider the following tips:

1)  Collaborate with others on a project – because you’re sharing the load, you often get to choose the bits you find more fun and are skilled at

2)  Take time off – sometimes we forget to give ourselves permission to take vacation or even short-term unpaid leaves to re-charge. 

3)  Get some rest – try scaling back in some areas of your life that you don’t really enjoy.  Use this time to relax, rejuvenate and re-charge in ways that remind you that your work life is not your whole life

4)  Recommit to the work – sometimes work slides down our priority list when other things keep us busy.  Revisit your priorities and shuffle things if needed.   Approach this like a second honeymoon.

5)  Decide if career divorce is your only option – if, after trying all the other suggestions, your job can’t be saved, turn to career dating to start exploring new options.  Be sure to do this outside of working hours so that you aren’t “cheating” on your current job.  You may find new and exciting opportunities.  Or, you may gain a new appreciation for the work you’re currently doing.

Cathy: And what about if we are in a career that we DO like – what can we be thinking about this Valentine’s Day?

Christine: My best advice?  Schedule a career “date night”.  Just like in romantic relationships, it’s easy to forget that you need to actively take care of your career relationship so that it stays happy.  A career date night will look different for everyone but might include one or some of the following ideas: 

1)  Find a mentor in (or outside) your field and meet that person once a month for dinner or coffee to trade inspiration and advice

2)  Continue your education in the field by attending courses, seminars, or conferences.  Listen to speakers to get you re-inspired and re-focused on what you do.  This will not only build your knowledge but help you stay current and will also re-vitalize your work energy

3)  Organize a regular social gathering of colleagues where you can blow off steam and appreciate each other as people

4)  Cross-pollinate with similar organizations or work.  Invite them to learn about what you do.  Peek into what they do.  See where you dove-tail.

5)  Volunteer or work at one-time events to help you gain appreciation for what you do and to tap into more interests and skills you may want to fold into your work in the future.

Cathy: Those are great suggestions - I love the idea of a career “date night.” Now onto my most important question - what are you doing for Valentine’s Day?

Christine:  As you may have gathered by my book and company name, I’m pretty gushy on a daily basis – no holiday required.  Still, I never turn down a good excuse to be grateful for all the romance—personal and career— that I have been lucky enough to find.  I think I’ll start Valentine’s Day this year by breaking in the new heart and flower-shaped pancake moulds I got for Christmas!  Raspberry pancakes sound romantic, dontcha think?

Cathy: Raspberry pancakes sound delicious! Christine, thanks for your Valentine’s career advice!

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