What makes so much networking so inauthentic and phony? Networking has such a bad reputation as a schmooze fest where insincerity reigns.

Being on the receiving end of insincerity sucks. Here are two classic insincere networking moves:

Insincere Flattery: “Wow, did you do something new with your hair? It looks so good” and “I LOVE your blazer.” And of course there is the ever popular “have you lost weight?”

Of course sometimes people give sincere compliments. But insincere compliments are the ones that promptly dry up when they realize you can’t give them what they want. When it becomes clear that you don’t have what they are looking for, suddenly you become far less impressive and interesting, making you reflect back on those early compliments and realize they were not really compliments at all - just attempts at buttering you up.

Insincere Questions: These are the questions that are asked but whose answers are not listened to. “What do you do?” or “what’s new with you?” or any other opening question to get you talking.

Then, when you’re answering, the questioner’s attention is anywhere except on you. They are clearly looking for someone more interesting or powerful to move on to. The question is mere place holder, allowing them to look engaged in conversation while they scan the room finding their next target. Questions form the basis of many a great conversation, but insincere questions have nothing to do with an authentic interest in learning anything about you.

Experiencing this kind of insincerity in others is so demoralizing. This kind of inauthentic networking sours the whole experience of trying to meet and relate to people.

So there’s a quick look at a couple of the symptoms of inauthenticity in others when networking.  Coming next … when it is YOU who are feeling inauthentic.

Authenticity, Networking Authenticity, inauthenticity, Networking