As we ponder authenticity, there was an interesting article in the Globe and Mail recently about lying on your resume.

Seems it is not so uncommon for the truth to be stretched on resumes.

And it may be particulary popular right now, as people like Dave Dineson, of BackCheck, a company that other companies hire to conduct employment pre-screening, are reported to believe that this dishonesty increases when the economy sours. Desperate times induce desperate measures.

But these desperate measures can so easily backfire. Companies can do background checks and have several ways of verifying actual work history and educational credentials. Even things that aren’t so formally documented, things like responsibilities in a past job, can be checked during interviews (it can be hard to dupe experienced interviewers once they start zeroing in on an area that seems suspicious). And references can be called for verification as well.

I bet some people probably think it is a risk worth taking, and have gotten job offers and not been found out.

But getting “found out” about dishonestly is only part of the problem with this practice. However desperate you are feeling, does it help to feel like you’ve been dishonest on your resume? Job search is a time when you need the most confidence you can muster – and sacrificing your integrity isn’t usually a confidence-booster.

The most interesting part of this article for me was how it got me wondering about what we are defining as honesty or dishonesty.

A few types of dishonesty on resumes that we can probably all agree on:

-       Fabricating a degree or other academic credential

-       Indicating that a degree was received, when you’re actually still a few, or even just one, credit short

-       Making up work experience

-       Making work experience sound bigger and better – for example saying you have supervised 10 people, when it was only a couple

However, I was surprised to read this “Older candidates sometimes leave out the early portion of their careers because they don’t want to show their age or have a resume that appears too stale or lengthy, Mr. Davis said” (Mr Davis is a recruitment consultant).

This is dishonest?

Isn’t it accepted/assumed that resumes are targeted? And targeted usually means you pick and choose what to say based on what you believe to be most relevant. This is why “camp counsellor,” “catering assistant,” and “gas jockey” no longer appear on my resume.

I’m not trying to pull the wool over anyone’s eyes and I’m not worried that the dates will emphasize my age (not that that is yet a concern as I am still just mid-career). Older stuff can be just not relevant.

And, even if it is relevant, is there room to list everything? In addition to my high school jobs, I leave off early “professional” related jobs as well because I’ve done more interesting, more recent, and more senior roles since. Is it dishonest to emphasize the most recent parts of your work history?

And why is this comment directed at older workers? Yes, they can be concerned about revealing their age, but might they have other good reasons for leaving off the early parts of their career history? I get the feeling that leaving off early jobs may not be seen as dishonest when I do this, but may be seen as dishonest for older workers (there may be some subtle discrimination happening here).

What do you think? Is it dishonest to leave off the early portion of your work history?

Authenticity, Ethics, Integrity, Resumes Authenticity, honesty, lying, older workers, resume

Is part of authenticity being open to others?

I started my series of posts on authenticity by looking at our definitions of authenticity. I shared that the core of my own definition is that authenticity is that powerful feeling of being real, and its corollary - the absence of wearing a mask.

With more reflection, I’ve realized that there is another important component of authenticity to me, a component that is critical if we want to not just feel authentic, but make authentic connections with other people.

That other component of authenticity is a genuine openness to others.

Often, part of our motivation for being more authentic (both in job searching an in life in general) is the ability to have better and deeper connections with other people. These more meaningful connections happen when we are being more of our authentic selves.

But there is more to an authentic deep connection than just revealing ourselves – there is also the need to be open to seeing and appreciating the other person. How we treat the authentic self that others share with us is vital to making that connection. If we are not open, but are closed, judgemental, dismissive, and/or lacking in compassion, not only may we injure that possibly fragile self that has been shared with us, we certainly will not be building the trust and comfort that is necessary for a close connection.

Sometimes the discussion about authenticity can feel a bit self-serving. It is all about how to be ourselves so that we feel better. And while that’s important, we are not islands. I’m wondering more and more about what kind of responsibility we each have for how we treat not just our own authentic selves, but also how we treat other people’s authentic selves.

What do you think? How is being open to others related to authenticity?

Attitude and Approach, Authenticity Authenticity, openness, relationships

There is a lovely story about authenticity on a blog I follow by coach Carly Goldsmith.  Carly shared an experience in which she took a risk, exposed more of her authentic self, and felt all the more powerful because of it. To read her story see her post “Shedding Layers of the False Self .”

Authenticity, Uncategorized Authenticity

The idea of authenticity is very popular. As I read blogs, articles, etc, I am finding that it seems to be gaining traction in job search approaches and this is wonderful!

I’ve also been personally reflecting a lot on authenticity (as I’ve finished up writing the text of a new book, Authentic Networking and continue on Interviews as Authentic Conversations) and I think there is a lot to explore about the concept and practice of authenticity, so I’ve decided my theme for my next few posts will be authenticity.

A recent conversation in a LinkedIn group for career services professionals asked members
“How do you define authenticity?” and this got me thinking.

I’ve looked up definitions in dictionaries and they use words like “undisputed credibility” and “genuiness” but I find them lacking. They might be defining the concept, but they don’t capture the complexity and the power of the experience of authenticity.

To me, authenticity has two parts – one is the presence of something, the other the absence.

First, I feel authentic when there is the presence of feeling real. I wish I had better words to describe it, but I recognize it when I feel it. There is a rightness to it, a comfort, and sometimes a fragility.

Secondly I feel authentic when I feel the absence of a mask, or manufactured self. There is a freedom with this, and sometimes it also feels a bit exposed.

These two pieces speak to the core of my own definition and experience of authenticity.

How would you define and describe your experience of authenticity?

Authenticity, Integrity Authenticity, job search

Can job interviews be more “humane”?

I regularly hear from job seekers that they want to be genuine and authentic when they are job searching, but find that the ways in which some employers set up the interview process leaves them feeling like they have to put on perfectly polished persona and do their best salesperson routines.

So, when I saw a blog posting about “Humane Interviews” from Jessa Chupik, a career coach who is a former recruiter, I was really excited.

She describes an interview panel who, instead of intimidating candidates, or being distant or overly formal, were welcoming, warm, and genuine. By being genuine themselves, they let the candidates know that they were important, and that the interview was not a gruesome exam, but a pleasant conversation for learning more about them.

This “humane” approach seems to have created an environment that helped interview candidates be more genuine – and I can only guess that it must have been a pleasant and effective way for both parties to get to know each other better, and assess whether there was a good fit.

Humane Interviews – love that idea!

Have you had experiences with “humane” interviews? Did they allow you to feel more comfortable and authentic?

Authenticity, Interviews, Job search as sales & marketing Authenticity, humane, job interviews

My last posting looked at two kinds of inauthentic networking moves: insincere flattery and insincere questions. These are moves that most of us have been on the receiving end of, souring our networking experiences.

What about when it is not the inauthenticity of other networkers that is souring the experience for us, but our own feelings of inauthenticity?

A lot of people report feeling “fake” and “phony” when they try to network. If you are trying to create new relationships with interesting people, and trying to deepen existing friendships, feeling fake is certainly not going to help. For many people it evens stops them from going out and networking at all.

Where do these feelings of inauthenticity come from?

Trying to Be The “Perfect” Networker

I think a lot of networking advice (perhaps very well-meaning networking advice) has presented a particular picture of what a “perfect” networker is. If you read too much about networking, it is easy to start believing that there is one right way to be as a networker.

Who is this “perfect” networker?

They

·         work the room – effortlessly flitting from person to person

·         are gregarious and outgoing

·         mingle relentlessly and with no hesitation strike up conversations with people who they don’t know

·         promote themselves with their elevator pitches and proffer business cards with finesse

Sound familiar?

This image of an ideal networker is everywhere. So, in an effort to be good at networking, job seekers try to emulate this ideal. And this is where the inauthenticity insinuates itself.

Some people may feel like they have exactly what it takes to be this “perfect” networker. They head out and network in this way and feel good about it. Far more of us do not naturally operate this way. But, in a misguided belief that you HAVE to be this way in order to be successful at networking, you grit your teeth, take a deep breath, and do it.

You “work the room.” You give your elevator pitch. You force yourself to mingle. And you feel phony and inauthentic. You don’t want to give that pitch – you did it because you thought you were supposed to. You don’t want to end one conversation and “work the room” – you were perfectly happy talking with the person you were with but started to feel guilty you were spending too much time with them.

The bad news – legions of discouraged job seekers who’ve been trying to live up to this perceived ideal

The good news – this “ideal” networker may not be the ideal after all

Next: Shattering the image of the “ideal” networker

Authenticity, Networking Authenticity, inauthenticity, job search, Networking

What makes so much networking so inauthentic and phony? Networking has such a bad reputation as a schmooze fest where insincerity reigns.

Being on the receiving end of insincerity sucks. Here are two classic insincere networking moves:

Insincere Flattery: “Wow, did you do something new with your hair? It looks so good” and “I LOVE your blazer.” And of course there is the ever popular “have you lost weight?”

Of course sometimes people give sincere compliments. But insincere compliments are the ones that promptly dry up when they realize you can’t give them what they want. When it becomes clear that you don’t have what they are looking for, suddenly you become far less impressive and interesting, making you reflect back on those early compliments and realize they were not really compliments at all - just attempts at buttering you up.

Insincere Questions: These are the questions that are asked but whose answers are not listened to. “What do you do?” or “what’s new with you?” or any other opening question to get you talking.

Then, when you’re answering, the questioner’s attention is anywhere except on you. They are clearly looking for someone more interesting or powerful to move on to. The question is mere place holder, allowing them to look engaged in conversation while they scan the room finding their next target. Questions form the basis of many a great conversation, but insincere questions have nothing to do with an authentic interest in learning anything about you.

Experiencing this kind of insincerity in others is so demoralizing. This kind of inauthentic networking sours the whole experience of trying to meet and relate to people.

So there’s a quick look at a couple of the symptoms of inauthenticity in others when networking.  Coming next … when it is YOU who are feeling inauthentic.

Authenticity, Networking Authenticity, inauthenticity, Networking

How to network authentically and with integrity has been much on my mind lately as I prepare for 2 presentations this week on that topic. I think because networking has such a bad reputation, lots of people are looking for alternatives.

As a starting place for thinking about how to network authentically, I’d like to share a recent Q&A I did with Jennifer Nachshen. I first learned about Jennifer when she wrote a neat article in the Globe and Mail called Doctor By Day, Fashion Blogger by Night, which I mentioned in an earlier post. I decided to contact Jennifer to learn more about her story, and she kindly agreed to a conversation. I really liked what she had to say about how she has approached networking, so (with her permission) I’m going to share some of her thoughts here:

Cathy: How did you connect with the opportunity to be a fashion blogger?

Jennifer: A friend forwarded me information about a website that wanted a blogger. When I applied, my letter literally said “I have no experience, but I can turn a phrase, and I’ve written some blogs … I was asked to do some trial runs. In a lot of ways I was very lucky. But it wasn’t just luck as at some point I had to put myself into the mix. The point is that opportunities are out there, and if you look for them and put yourself out there, eventually you will make a connection. But you have to be prepared for some failures along the way and just be able to pick up and keep going. I did get lucky, but I put myself right in the path of luck.

Cathy: Sounds like you heard about this first opportunity from someone in your network. How has building a network continued to be important as you build your new career as a writer?

Jennifer: I think it’s critical to take advantage of everyone you know and everyone you meet. They all have knowledge and experience to share. Network building is important, but it’s also fun. I love meeting people who are writing and being successful at it. They are usually very interesting people. I’ve managed to turn a number of those relationships into mutually beneficial friendships. We help each other in work and, because we have so much in common, socialize with each other as well. I’ve become so rich, both personally and professionally, through networking.

Cathy: A lot of people who are job searching are nervous about talking to other people and about asking for help. What has your experience of meeting new people been like?

Jennifer: People love to be acknowledged for their knowledge and expertise. I find people who I’m interested in and say “I’d love to take you to lunch and ask you questions about what you do and how you got to be doing what you are doing.” And most people say yes. People really want to help other people. Even if they can’t help you immediately, they might put you in the back of their minds and remember you when something else comes up.

Cathy: Some people feel like networking is fake. What about you?

Jennifer:  For me it’s not fake because I’m actually genuinely curious. I’m actually enjoying it. I’m going to events and asking questions because I am truly interested in what other people have to say. I think that, if you feel it’s fake, you either need to check your own attitude or get out of the business. It’s only fake if you are faking. I never feign interest because everybody has something they can teach me, even if it’s about what NOT to do!

Sounds like Jennifer is on to something in her networking. She has been able to switch careers, into something that had been an interest, but not something that she had really been involved in, by talking with people. I particulary like how Jennifer finds networking is not fake for her, because she is always asking questions that she genuinely has.

Thanks again Jennifer!

Coming next … Inauthentic Networking - what makes networking so often feel so phony?

Authenticity, Networking Authenticity, Networking

Ever think “but I can’t get THAT job! I’m not x” or “I don’t have y”?

For a fun story about someone getting a job you might never have believed they could get, take a look at Doctor By Day, Fashion Blogger By Night. It’s a first person account from Jennifer Nachshen who has a PhD in Clinical Psychology and does some work in that field, but who has also become a fashion blogger. She managed to get over her worry “Would [the editor] hire a psychologist to write about fashion?”

Great parts of her story:

-          How she applied for the fashion blogging role with her “11-page academic CV and a copy of a recent publication outlining Canadian guidelines for autism screening, assessment and diagnosis” – and got the position

-          Her reflections on how she went from not sure how to fit into the fashion world, to feeling comfortable there. “You’re only an imposter if you’re pretending to be something you’re not. And I’m not pretending.” She followed her genuine interest – and that must show.

If you’re thinking you’re trying to make an impossible change into a new field (one that may be of real interest to you, but that you’re not yet experienced in) and want to see that it just may be possible, check this out.

Authenticity, Choice, Inspiration, Optimism

“Aren’t your criticisms of the sales mindset for job search really just semantics?” I got this question during a webinar presentation I did last week. And it’s not the first time I’ve been asked this. The rest of the argument is that “it’s really just words - you can change the words but what job seekers need to do doesn’t change - they still need to sell themselves.”

I appreciate the question, because I think it is one that comes up in many people’s minds when trying to decide if we really need to tranform job search from a sales mindset to something more aligned with our integrity and authenticity - is it really worth changing this? Or is it “just semantics“?

My response:

1. There’s no “just semantics.” This phrase “it’s just semantics” is meant to dismiss concerns about language and suggests that words are just words - changing them doesn’t make a big difference. But words are not just words - words communicate meaning and paint a particular picture. The words we choose dictate the concepts, values, and images that we experience. And then those direct our behaviours. When we choose to tell job seekers to “sell themselves” we are placing all the images, concepts and values that are attached in our minds to sales, to those job seekers. And this is problematic (see my previous post about the Used Car Salesman Syndrome for one example of the negative impact of the sales language).

2. I want to change not just our language for job search, but also our behaviours. I do believe it starts with the language - first we replace words such as sales, with other words such as integrity and authenticity. Then, with this different mindset, we feel, think, and act differently. Some of those differences may be subtle, others quite dramatically different. But overall, our entire approach has a different attitude and orientation. There is a detectable difference in how things feel and look.

3. And to respond to the final part of the criticism, that “job seekers do need to sell themselves” I would say - what evidence do we have of that? Over a decade spent with job seekers, I’ve seen an awful lot of evidence that selling gets in the way of success for many a dedicated and otherwise skilled job seeker.

Really, is there any “just semantics“? Language is so important - when we start by changing our language we can open up a whole new way of thinking and behaving - and of creating a life (and a job search approach) more in line with how we want to live.

Authenticity, Criticisms/questions, Integrity, Job search as sales & marketing